THE OPENING CREDITS CONTINUE ROLLING

THE DEERHUNTERIAN CANDIDATE

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER JON WINET
WRITTEN & DIRECTED BY SCOTT SMITHEE

STARRING:

RICHARD PRYOR as BARACK OBAMA
MERYL STREEP as HILLARY CLINTON
BRUCE WILLIS as JOHN McCAIN as RAYMOND SHAW
MERYL STREEP as ANGELA LANSBURY as HILLARY CLINTON as JOCELYN SHAW
JOE DON BAKER as BILL CLINTON
MERYL STREEP as SARAH PALIN
ROBERT DeNIRO as ED NORTON as TODD PALIN
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN as SARAH PALIN (sometimes)
JOHN HUSTON as GEORGE H. W. BUSH
JEFF BRIDGES AS GEORGE W. BUSH
MERYL STREEP as DICK CHENEY
ROBERT DeNIRO as JOE BIDEN
PAUL NEWMAN as EDWARD KENNEDY
NANCY PELOSI as SABRINA DUNCAN
HILLARY CLINTON as JILL MUNROE
DIANE FEINSTEIN as KELLY GARRETT

The opening credits end by fading back into the white-out of an Alaskan blizzard.

As CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS DOWN COLUMBINE STREET we make out, through the heavily falling snow, a group of OLDER WOMEN carrying a huge wedding cake with a miniature bride and groom standing on the top. The WOMEN are all in their seventies and bundled in boots and dark overcoats. They are moving slowly up the street, in the driving snow, with the great white cake held firmly between them.

CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS PAST the group of OLDER WOMEN and continues ZOOMING DOWN COLUMBINE STREET towards a vague shape that we eventually, once we get close enough, recognize as a dented two-tone pink and cream double-wide mobile home which looks as if it had been purchased third-hand off a construction site. It stands on cinder blocks in a small lot which has been cut out of the side of the hill. A wrecked school bus decorates it to the right. On the left is a bare branched tree. TODD & SARAH PALIN's snowmobiles are parked in front and a light shows from inside the trailer.

CAMERA ZOOMS SLOWLY AS IF PASSING THROUGH WINDOW OF MOBILE HOME.

INT. MOBILE HOME - DAY

SARAH PALIN and TODD PALIN sit facing each other at the kitchen table, playing Russian Roulette.

QUICK CUTAWAY TO ESTABLISHING SHOT that shows shoreline of Russia visible from kitchen window of the PALIN’s mobile home.

Cut back to INT. MOBILE HOME - KITCHEN TABLE - DAY


SARAH
You can do it, TODD.

TODD
No. No, no.

SARAH
TODD... listen to me, TODD! You have to do it.

TODD
I want to go home, SARAH.

SARAH
You have to think about this, TODD. Listen to me, TODD! You have to
think about this.

TODD
(tears again)
This is horrible!

SARAH
Listen to me, TODD. If you don't do it they'll put us in the pit. If they put us in the pit, TODD, we're gonna die... TODD, do you understand?

TODD
(nods)
SARAH, I wanna go home!

There is an EXPLOSION from the other end of the room. TODD’s eyes go wide and he lets out a whimpering SCREAM. The SECRET SERVICE AGENTS open a path and MITT ROMNEY appears. His knees won't support him and the SECRET SERVICE AGENT who is holding him throws him on the floor.


SARAH
Listen to me, TODD. Do it! You have to do it!

TODD
What are you, God?

SARAH
Listen, asshole, it's up to us!

TODD PALIN hangs his head and whimpers.

SARAH
What are you - hoping?

TODD
What else?

SARAH
I thought you might be - praying.

TODD
I'm doing that too.

SARAH
I suppose you wish you were somewhere else?

TODD
What do you think?

SARAH
TODD, you're wasting your time... Listen to me! You're wasting your time! This is no fucking time for hoping or praying or wishing or any other shit! This is it. Here we are... And we gotta get out!

TODD
You're right... Okay, you're right.

SARAH
(grabs him)
Get off your ass, TODD. Get off your fucking ass and stand up!!!

TODD
(stands)
Okay, okay!
(he straightens his shoulders)
Okay. Okay, you're right...